Harvest to Heal

Starting with the not so good news…

I thought seeing this uveitis specialist was going to be the answer I’ve been searching for. I thought he was going to see something that the other ophthalmologist missed, and he would have the answer needed to get my eye healed and vision restored, quickly and easily.

But no.

It was not some dreamy moment. It is what it is. I had severe inflammation from this flareup and the damage is done. I have a layer of scar tissue that is affecting my vision, causing a cataract-like haze over my entire right eye. Without surgery, only time will tell how much haziness naturally clears out on its own, and how much is left behind from the scar tissue – and this doctor does not want to do surgery given my youngish age. But I don’t know how I can deal with this long term.

The good news…

The good news is that the inflammation has stopped. The prednisone worked, and I have managed to taper from 80mg/day to 40mg/day. I’ll stay at 40mg until I begin the Humira, more on that in a moment..

But I am mostly pain-free. The answer to my question from last week, (wondering why my eye still hurt so bad even though the ophthalmologist said the inflammation is gone,) the uveitis specialist informed me that after tissue goes through such a traumatic experience, it takes time to heal from it and stop feeling sore. The same way you sprain an ankle and it can take weeks, even months for that pain to subside. Same thing with my eye. So the tenderness is not something to be too worried about, and it has improved.

And surgery is an option, despite the doctor’s protest. He said if I really want surgery, it is an option. I don’t understand how anyone would not want surgery. I mean, no I don’t want to have eye surgery and it scares me. But to imagine having to deal with my eye in its current condition going forward? I’m getting married this year, I have a whole life to start and I feel so limited now.

Mental Impact.

The hardest part of all of this. Yes, it’s annoying to deal with the vision impact. But it’s the sadness and bitterness I have towards the whole situation that is the most difficult thing…the mental struggle.

Being HLA-B27 positive, this entire thing is out of my control. I mean, sure I can eat an anti-inflammatory diet and goodness I hope it is helping. Anything to prevent a flareup again. But it’s the fact that I was born this way, it’s completely out of my control and it’s my body fighting against me. It is so difficult to come to terms with that because there are so many health ailments that we have to deal with that are a direct result of our actions and decision making. What we eat, sugar intake, everything. But then there are the other conditions that we are born with and we can’t help. And that is such a mental challenge for me. So much anger and bitterness. So much of the “why me?”

But I know I can’t live that way, and I am working to turn that mindset around and continue living a whole and fulfilled life despite this condition. Despite the Humira.

Humira, my new friend

The uveitis specialist agrees with my rheumatologist that I am a good fit for Humira. I am so scared to have to be on a biologic. To have to inject myself, to be immunocompromised. To no longer be a “normal” person functioning in society.

I don’t have a lot to say about it yet, as I see my rheumatologist next week and I will begin it shortly thereafter. I have an idea of what to expect but I don’t really know. I’m scared, but this is going to be something that helps my A.S. and uveitis flareups. And I will get to taper off the prednisone entirely once I start the Humira. I am nervous for the transition, so scared that the flare is going to come back. But Humira has worked for so many uveitis suffers so I am hopeful that this will keep me flare free going forward. I have so many exciting things happening in the near future, and I’m working hard to view this is just a bump in the road like many other challenges we all encounter.

What about the food?!

In addition to documenting my uveitis journey, my main mission with this blog is to share my anti-inflammatory recipes and ways of eating that I believe are impacting my overall health and inflammatory response within my body. I have fallen off of that, partly with the holidays but also with the stress of dealing with my flareup. I haven’t forgotten, and once I begin moving forward with my Humira treatment I will have a ton more food to post!

_{Photo by Micah Boerma: https://www.pexels.com/photo/plant-1008737/}